I recently took a self-defense force class. A friend invited me, knowing how I am a sucker for anything "female empowerment" based. I had some apprehensions about the course, recognizing why we exercise non tie self-defence force classes with domestic violence work, but I tried to go in with an open mind. I learned some things about safety, and it supported the notion I have held for a while that I would enjoy learning how to box. Just I as well left with my concerns reinforced nigh the key nature of educational activity women cocky-defense in response to domestic violence.

  1. Generally, these classes eye effectually the bad guy jumping out of the bushes. Stranger sexual assault does happen, but according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center , in viii out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the person who sexually assaulted them. The existence of a "human relationship" could make the utilization of self-defense more complicated and confusing, which was never acknowledged.
  2. I certainly believe that every instructor of this course has the best intentions at heart. They genuinely desire to aid women to be safe. Merely, when the idea of self-defense classes are framed every bit "reducing the number of assaults," it tin can be seen that information technology is a woman'southward responsibility to fight off an assailant and defend herself, which is unintentionally victim-blaming . Assaults happen because of assaulters . We will reduce the number of assaults when nosotros hold offenders accountable and make it truly shameful to apply violence against another.
  3. It needs to be said that even if a woman utilizes self-defense, does not utilise a technique correctly, or doesn't use self-defense at all, an set on is even so not her error. That is victim shaming . Corruption is Always the fault of the perpetrator.
  4. Self-defence classes are structured around the trauma response of "fight," merely unfortunately, we practice not ever get to choose how our brain volition reply during an assault. Fight, flight AND freeze are all natural and normal responses to a traumatic event. And sometimes freezing and flight-ing are the safest means for someone to survive violence.
  5. Some other topic missing from the week was the escalation of violence . Therefore, utilizing a cocky-defense technique might keep me unharmed for a moment but could very probable cause the abuser to escalate to more than astringent violence and put me in grave danger during this event or in the time to come.
  6. We too know that abusers are master manipulators . Although she might be physically rubber after defending herself from an attacker, if the police force are involved, women are sometimes arrested as the primary aggressor (he has marks, she doesn't, etc.). In family court, it can be stated that there was "mutual corruption" or she was "just as trigger-happy" as he is. In domestic violence, the trauma does not end with 1 abusive incident; the consequences of her response can be held against her for years to come.
  7. Throughout the week, nosotros were told over and over to exist aware of your surroundings, how y'all walk, how you park your car or have public transportation, how you get into an elevator, what clothes you wear, how you exist in this world. What I wished would be best-selling was that this is exhausting. Women should be able to move through this globe every bit safely as most men tin, and we cannot. And information technology is unfair.
  8. Nosotros besides briefly discussed weapons in self-defence force. According to statistics, the presence of firearms in the home increases the chance of a domestic violence homicide past 500%.
  9. It was taught that the female body is designed to fight off existence raped. I am very concerned about the potential confusion and shame this kind of statement can cause. What we know virtually biology is that during a sexual set on, a victim can experience an orgasm. This idea tin be very confusing for the victim. This does not mean she wanted to assaulted or that she enjoyed it; she, again, cannot fight biological science. Statements like this can cause a lot of confusion around if the incident was consensual or non rape.
  10. Nosotros, likewise, have to consider race when talking almost self-defense. Unfortunately, we know that not all survivors of domestic violence are treated the aforementioned by the criminal justice organization. When condom planning with clients, we have to talk nigh the intersection of race and the police or courts. A adult female of color who uses cocky-defense confronting their abuser is more likely to be perceived equally the predominant aggressor and is less likely to be believed by some police officers to be the victim. If she is arrested, she is more than probable to exist charged with assault and for that to be on her permanent record. This charge (fifty-fifty if dropped) can be used against her in protective order hearings or in family court in divorce or custody cases. It is not fair that survivors of color not just take to think near their immediate safety but what ramifications tin come of their actions, but they do. All the time.
  11. Finally, one mean solar day I was accused of having a "victim mentality" when I pushed back on an teacher'southward oversimplification of using cocky-defense. I would like to country for the record that this is also a victim-shaming statement; that statement hurts victims and their willingness to report abuse. I accept worked with women who were police officers, ex-military, EMTs, and had black belts in karate. Training in martial arts, combat, or cocky-defense force is not an automatic protection from experiencing assault or abuse.

The bravest and most courageous thing I witnessed in the course came from my 12-yr-one-time classmate. While nosotros were all in the hallway suiting up to vanquish upward our assailants for the last time, she told her female parent that she did not want to participate in the terminal exercise. Her mother, our classmates, and the police officers all tried to change her mind and convince her to exercise. Just she stood her footing. All week the instructors had been telling us, "Use your voice. Apply your voice. It is your strongest weapon." And here she was. Setting a boundary and speaking upwards for her needs. I was bursting with pride. This interaction symbolized what was missing throughout the class. Defending oneself is not ever straightforward. It's usually incredibly circuitous. You agree what your mom wants, what your peers want, what the police force officer wants, and what social club wants all in your heed and eye. We all demand to learn how to respond to and respect someone's "no." That is how we genuinely reduce violence.

Written by Krista Fultz, managing director of advocacy and education at Genesis Women's Shelter & Support.